A Proper Sendoff

Legendary douchebag Jerry Falwell passed away today, leaving behind a legacy few others can claim to match. Falwell was instrumental in turning the Evangelical Christian right into a major political force in this country. So I'm glad Jerry Falwell is gone forever. I would never wish for his death or ask for his murder, but I can say now that he has passed on the only feeling I have is relief. He was the enemy. Bottom line. Period.     So I thought we'd give Jerry his proper send-off, and honor his legacy by remembering some of his most amazing quotes. Enjoy. "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being." "I had a student ask me, 'Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?' Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed." "God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve." "I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!" "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." "The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country." "It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening." "There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution." "The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc." "We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism ... we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today ... our battle is with Satan himself." "Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan." "The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews." "You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes.... Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on ... every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel." Oh Jerry, you crazy asshole, how is not existing treating ya?